Sixth Former Beneva Davies addressed the School community at Church Assembly on Thursday, October 2.  Beneva's thought-provoking talk was about, as she called it, "the epidemic of materialism," and she admonished her fellow students: "Never let the things you own define who you are." 

The full transcript of Beneva's talk follows.

"John F. Kennedy once said, 'This country cannot afford to be materially rich and spiritually poor.' 

"I'm beginning to think the same thing.  Not only in this school, in the general teenage age group, or even just in this country is materialism a problem.  All over the world, people are falling to the epidemic of materialism.  Now don't get me wrong, I myself love things.  My roommate, friends, parents and houseparents, can all bear witness to my clutter.  I like shopping and find it to be a lovely little pastime.  I wouldn't exactly call this a problem, though.  (And I'm not saying this in the whole 12-step program; I'm-in-denial-kind-of-way.) 

"I think a problem comes in when you're unhappy with what you have; when your opinion changes about people because of what they don't have; and lastly, when you start to use all the things you own as a measurement of who you are.  When your mood changes depending on the things you have, and what, not who, surrounds you. This is where the distinction is made; it is fine, and actually greatly to own things.  Own and have all the things you want, just be aware and don't let that shift to your things owning you.  As Maurice Sendak once said, 'There must be more to life than having everything.'

"'Mom, I swear, if you get me this, this is the last time, the last thing I'll ever ask for!'  This is the sound of horror that echoes through the homes of people everywhere.  We all say it, in some variation or another, and at least for me it's never true.  I always want something else.  I don't think this is something to feel guilty about though, since we all do it.  For example, this summer after shopping, there was a pair of shoes I still really wanted.  I didn't need them, I had already gotten some other pairs, but God, I wanted them so bad.  This led to fight of the week for my mother and me.  I was devastated when the answer was no.  But not as upset as last week.  One of my best friends, Abbie, insisted I use her in my speech.  I'm sure this is not what she had in mind, but here is an example of what not to be.  Last week, Abbie's Land Rover got taken away.  It was a great loss for us all; we had some good times in that car.  But it definitely hit Abbie the hardest.  She said after much profanity, and I quote, 'I don't care what people think, that is my car!  I love that car! That car defines me!'  Now, this, this is the problem.  Your things should never define you.  I didn't need another pair of shoes, and Abbie doesn't need her car.  It's so easy to get wrapped up in these things though, until someone reminds you there's so much more to life.  So allow me to be that person.

"There are three examples that always remind me.  A couple of years ago when I went on the Appalachia Service Project to West Virginia there was a woman who had no teeth.  This woman was too young to have lost them all naturally so when asked about it she responded, 'The dentist is just too expensive, so I just yanked 'em all right out.' I was shocked, I had never heard of anything like it...;to be honest, I'm still scarred. 

"Another example is a story my aunt, a social worker, told me.  For one of her cases, she told me she had gone to a meeting with two little boys, one about 9 and the other 5.  She brought the two kids cookies, and when she turned around to grab the paper work, the older brother had quickly snatched up both cookies.  Upset, she asked him to share.  The 9-yr-old boy looked up at my aunt and said, 'No, I'm sorry I can't let him have it.  I don't want him to have to taste a cookie, knowing he'll never be able to have one again.  I don't want him to still want a cookie everyday.'

"Lastly, this summer, my older sister got in a bad car accident that left her paralyzed.  This summer as I got ready for senior year, and got a job, and went to camps, my sister went to a rehab center.  This past weekend she left the house for the first time with friends, and called me after to tell me about her outing.  She was so happy to just be out of the house, although she made a joke about never being able to drive herself again.  It's the little things that we take advantage of, like teeth, cookies, and the ability to walk or drive, that can make all the difference to someone else.

"Like I said before, I don't care what you own, or how much you own.  That's not the problem.  The problem is when you see all the things you own as who you are.  When you begin to mix-up what you want, with what you need.  Because, certainly there is a difference.  When you begin to remember that there are people out there who can barely afford to eat everyday, there are people who sleep outside on the streets or in subways, and there are people who have no option but to beg, steal, or starve -- things don't look so bad.  So, maybe you already have all you need.

"Maybe you should start thinking about what you can give."

###