Dom Edmund Adams, Church Assembly Talk
October 29, 2009

In my last talk (October 15), I spoke of God's forgiveness of us.  Today, I'd like us to consider our forgiveness of each other.

When Christ gave his disciples a prayer to say, the one we call the "Our Father," he commented on only one line in that prayer.  He told them - and us - that if we forgive others, our Father will forgive us, but if we won't forgive others, neither will the Father forgive us.  In his parable of the unforgiving servant, Jesus taught that we must forgive one another from the heart because God has forgiven us far more in our lives.  Forgiveness of one another is not, then, a nice thing to be wished for but an absolute requirement.

As for how not to forgive, there is an anecdote, not necessarily true, about the late Cardinal Cody of Chicago, who was asked on his deathbed if he forgave his enemies - the Cardinal had made quite a few in his day.  He is said to have replied: "I forgive them - but God won't."

We do not forgive others because we are virtuous; we don't forgive to gain moral superiority.  No - we forgive because we and the forgiven are equally God's children and because Christ suffered and died for them as for us.  Furthermore, we have done sufficient harm to others in our lives so that we have no right to seek God's forgiveness while we judge, condemn, and refuse to forgive each other.

The rest of my talk was written by one of the most loved and admired monks of Portsmouth, Fr. Bede Gorman.

"Forgiveness=Seventy Times Seven"
by Dom Bede Gorman

"Our Father, who art in heaven --- and forgive us - as we forgive ---"  As we would like to forgive??? --- NO. --- As we will forgive when we get to be better Christians??? ----- NO. ---- As God forgives??? --- YES.

Well, how does God forgive?  St. Peter didn't know, so he asked Christ.  "Lord, how many times must I forgive my neighbor:  seven times? (To the Jews, "seven" meant "a great deal.")" Christ answered, "Not seven times, but seventy times seven."  Which meant - no limit, endlessly:  which is the way God forgives.

Without this forgiveness, there is resentment, indecision - or guilt.  Instead of human fellowship, there are separate prisons, chains, not love of neighbor.  FORGIVENESS is a decision to love; to break the chains that bind the human self; it is not a feeling.  If someone injures us, and we hold on to the hurt, we cannot love.  We wall off that person, and to an extent, wall off others, too.

When we injure someone, or do something that shames us, and we curl up in guilt, we turn inward, too proud to say, "I'm sorry;" too paralyzed to move outward.  FORGIVENESS is to choose to love, as God loves.  Without conditions, arguments, etc., etc., God takes us as we are, in all our feebleness, and so gives us the power to change - to let people be as they are - to let people be "different" - as we are. --- "This is my commandment, that you love one another," whatever the "differences" may be.

"Live together - in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship can survive. Don't insist on your rights; don't blame each other; don't judge, or condemn each other: don't find fault with each other, but take one another as you are, and forgive each other from the bottom of your hearts."

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer